“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the silent voice at the end of the day which says, ‘I will try again tomorrow.”
Mary Anne Radmacher
My coachee (a senior leader in a secondary school) started to cry. “I’m exhausted, I’m frustrated and I just can’t see a way forward with this situation. I’m doing my very best, but my voice isn’t heard in our leadership meetings. I can see some things which are happening in the school and I’m worried about them. I’ve tried to speak up – but I’m scared the rest of the team will think I’m not doing my job properly.”
I asked, “When have you been heard before?”
She stopped crying and stared at me. “There was a time in my last job when I had to take a really sensitive issue to the headteacher. I tried for ages to deal with it myself, because I thought it was my responsibility. In the end, I had to ask for more support with it.”
“What was the outcome?”
“It was really positive. The head was really pleased I had brought it to their attention and worked with me to resolve the issue. He told me I had brought clarity to the situation and that the best solution had been found by us working together.”
“And what internal resource did you find in yourself to be able to ask for the support you needed.”
Sometimes…often…it’s really hard to find the quality or value of courage within ourselves. There’s a good reason for that. Our brain is trying to keep us safe from danger; by being brave and doing something which takes us out of our comfort zone, we are overriding the signals our brain is sending. We feel these signals in our bodies – anxiety, nervousness, nausea, fast breathing, headache, tension – and many other manifestations. When this type of stress is prolonged, it can cause harm to our mental health and wellbeing.
Transformative coaching is all about helping you to learn more about yourself.
You have the internal resources, the inner strengths and qualities, the values you need to face the challenges of life and to move forwards in your work, your relationships and your goals.
When we know what our values are, we can use them to make wise decisions for ourselves and others. Our values are at our core and can serve us so well – when we use them.
Sometimes, when we are struggling with something, it’s because the situation we are in is causing a conflict with our values-system. Sometimes we need someone to hep us see the amazing qualities we have inside of ourselves – and how we can use these to live happier and more positive lives.